Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
honey bunches of taint.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
