Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
