so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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