No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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