You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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