If i come over, it means nothing
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
