we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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