you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
