Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
