The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Randomize
