hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i barfeds in our rink
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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