found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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