he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
