he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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