Where are you?
In a non slutty way
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
