member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
