Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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