dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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