I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
