Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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