I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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