I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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