In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
