I wanna passion pit in your ass
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
