i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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