Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
