Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
