Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
