Fuck appropriateness.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
