hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Randomize
