Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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