Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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