I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
