i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
