My nipple is on Facebook.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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