Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
