hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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