She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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