i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize