is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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