Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
