this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
