I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
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