physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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