and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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