the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize