i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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