just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize