i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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