Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
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When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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