It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
