I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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