no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize