Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
