therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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