i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
