$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
