how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
These 23 People Share the Worst Advice They’ve Been Given
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing