You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
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The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
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You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW