Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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