I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
