the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
